1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:03,569
[door opens]
2
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:08,841
Hey, Kate, guess what I am.
3
00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:10,376
Is it something
that begins with "couch"
4
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,778
and ends with "potato"?
5
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:15,180
Cheap shot, Kate-mandu.
6
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,549
I'm a Type T personality.
7
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:21,220
Okay, ALF.
What is a Type T personality?
8
00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:23,022
Well, according to this article
9
00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:25,557
a Type T is a thrill-seeker.
10
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,626
Someone who looks for danger
11
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,862
who laughs in the face of death.
12
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,230
Ha-ha-ha.
13
00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:32,631
Is this from the same person
14
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,133
who watched the movie "Aliens"
15
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:36,235
from under the couch?
16
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,937
Hey, I thought I owed
one of those guys money.
17
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:42,508
Am I a Type T?
18
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:45,844
Well, do you enjoy
hand gliding off cliffs
19
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:48,147
into rock filled gorges?
20
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,248
I don't know.
21
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:50,649
Well, let's find out!
22
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,718
What do you say
we jump off the roof?
23
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,421
You land feet-first,
you're a wimp.
24
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,389
I'll go get the ladder!
25
00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,893
No one is jumping off the roof.
26
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,561
Hey, Kate, let me know
27
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,797
when you'll let your son
act like a man.
28
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,935
Aah! Paper cut, paper cut!
29
00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,470
Ooh!
30
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,441
[theme music]
31
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:38,530
[music continues]
32
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:54,513
[music continues]
33
00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:17,402
[instrumental music]
34
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,676
(ALF)
'How was work today, honey?'
35
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,947
What are you doing in my bed?
36
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:32,651
Your bed?
It happens to be half Kate's!
37
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,988
Did Kate say
you could lie there?
38
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:38,590
Does that sound
like something Kate would say?
39
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,759
Get out of my bed.
40
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:43,395
Now, that sounds like Kate.
41
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,532
ALF, did you take my pillow?
42
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,734
Yeah, it's under my tushie.
43
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:53,772
- Keep it.
- Don't go! I'm depressed!
44
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,974
And Willie's
kicking me out of bed.
45
00:02:55,976 --> 00:03:00,445
I'm sorry. I-I didn't know you
were depressed. What's wrong?
46
00:03:00,447 --> 00:03:03,448
Well, I was looking through
my photos.
47
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:06,185
Seeing all the adventures
I used to have.
48
00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:07,619
Hm.
49
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:10,222
Here, that's me
climbing Mt. Floppy
50
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,857
on the planet Griphard.
51
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:14,860
Climbing? That mountain
looks flat.
52
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:15,861
It is flat.
53
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:19,031
It's the planet that's tilted.
54
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,899
The planet..
55
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,068
...is tilted.
56
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,237
That's amazing!
57
00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:27,206
Try playing golf there sometime.
58
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:30,576
You're lucky if you shoot
in the low 600s.
59
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,511
What are you doing
in this barrel?
60
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:34,146
Oh, there I was getting ready
61
00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:37,482
to go up Widow-maker Falls.
62
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,885
You went up a waterfall?
63
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,321
Yeah, and the ride was so rough
64
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,056
I almost threw down!
65
00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:47,893
You really did have
an exciting life.
66
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:50,362
"Did" is the operative word.
67
00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:53,565
Those days are over, ma cherie.
68
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,768
Well, you had
a pretty exciting day yesterday.
69
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,238
How do you figure that?
70
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,107
You built that big bonfire
in our backyard.
71
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,443
And you got to see
the fire engines again.
72
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:07,679
Well, that gets old.
Right, Willie?
73
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:11,550
No, I get a lump in my throat
every single time.
74
00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:14,920
Look who I'm talking to
about excitement.
75
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,256
Now, look here, I'm not gonna be
put down by some guy
76
00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:20,225
who climbed the flat mountain.
77
00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:22,194
I-I know my life may appear
78
00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:23,562
a bit routine at times
79
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,764
but I've had
my share of adventure.
80
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,599
I've lived on the edge.
81
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:28,900
That's right.
82
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,269
When I was born,
mom and dad lived
83
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:31,970
on the edge of Bakersfield.
84
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,741
Now, you listen to me,
young lady.
85
00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:38,043
There's plenty about me
that you, uh..
86
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,278
...you don't know.
87
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,046
Like what?
88
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:44,583
Well, nothing you really
need to know about right now.
89
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:45,884
Does it have anything to do
90
00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,452
with you wearing
Kate's red pumps?
91
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,221
No, it's..
92
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,824
Why would you..
93
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,294
Why would you
say something like that?
94
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,197
I'm an instigator.
95
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,901
[laughs]
Dad, tell us what you did.
96
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:03,935
No.
97
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:06,571
Oh, please.
I really wanna know.
98
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,974
Well, uh..
99
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:11,343
When I was 17
I hopped a freight train.
100
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:14,079
I took it right straight
across the whole country.
101
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,847
You're kidding!
102
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,516
What did you do for money?
103
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,651
I did odd jobs, I, uh..
104
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,119
I washed dishes..
105
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,521
I-I played the piano
106
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,290
in a honky-tonk place
in Texas.
107
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,693
- Does mom know about all this?
- Oh, yeah, sure.
108
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,995
But...she doesn't like me
to talk about it
109
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:33,332
because she doesn't want
you and Brian getting any ideas.
110
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:35,300
- How come?
- Well, uh..
111
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:37,336
She doesn't want them
hopping trains.
112
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:38,870
- How come?
- Well..
113
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,173
That's not something
you want your children to do.
114
00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:43,375
How come?
115
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:45,010
I don't know, it's just Kate
116
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,879
laying down
these arbitrary rules.
117
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,881
Well, that's Kate for ya.
118
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:53,285
[crickets chirping]
119
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,788
[toy train chugging]
120
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,662
Hey, Willie,
is this the kind of train
121
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:05,130
you used to hop?
122
00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:07,833
Well, the others were bigger,
of course
123
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:10,369
and they-they didn't just
run around in circles.
124
00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,204
But, uh..
125
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,306
...basically, yeah.
126
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:17,042
How'd you do it?
127
00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,243
Well..
128
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:21,813
Here's what I'd do, you see.
129
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:24,249
I'd case the yard,
I-I'd hide in the bush.
130
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,551
I'd wait until dark and when
I saw my train was pulling out
131
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,054
I would just go
make a run for it.
132
00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,022
Whoa! Well, did it ever get
so dark
133
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,891
you jumped on the wrong thing
134
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:35,060
like a bus or a parade?
135
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:38,063
Try to ask
some sensible questions, ALF.
136
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,865
Okay.
137
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,099
Which one is the kitchen car?
138
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:44,503
[laughs]
There wasn't any kitchen car.
139
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:47,873
Yes, I sat in the boxcar,
I-I ate beans out of a can.
140
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:51,176
That's how I got
my traveling name!
141
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:52,310
Bean head?
142
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:56,915
Boxcar Willie.
143
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,084
Wow, what a cool name!
144
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,585
Hey, can I have your autograph?
145
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,254
- No!
- Come on, come on!
146
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,655
I guess.
147
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:06,925
[door opens]
148
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,193
Willie, are you sure
you don't want to go
149
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,261
to my mother's with us?
150
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,129
Oh, yeah, I'm positive.
151
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:13,932
If dad doesn't have to go,
why do I?
152
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,902
Because you're my son
and I can tell you what to do.
153
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,137
Well, there you have it.
154
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:25,377
- What's this?
- Oh, it's, uh, my autograph.
155
00:07:25,379 --> 00:07:27,813
Uh, ALF wanted it.
156
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:30,081
It's for a friend.
157
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,950
Well, we'll be back
in a couple of hours.
158
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,985
Now, don't get into any trouble.
159
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,922
Don't worry about Willie.
I'll keep an eye on him.
160
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:39,424
I was talking to you.
161
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:42,627
I know. I was being playful.
162
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,496
- See you later, Willie.
- Okay.
163
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,031
- Buh-bye.
- Bye.
164
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:50,836
Now's our chance.
165
00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:54,005
Let's go down to the train yard.
166
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,107
No, we're not hopping any train.
167
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:59,311
I'm not talking
about riding the rails!
168
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,146
I just wanna see them!
169
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,815
Please, Willie. Ple-e-ease?
170
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,917
No, we can't!
Really, ALF, we can't.
171
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:08,820
Alright. Tell me
when this gets annoying.
172
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,289
Yeah, yeah. You hopped
the freight train.
173
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,624
Sure. Oh, right. Yeah.
174
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,427
Yeah, I almost believed that.
Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah.
175
00:08:15,429 --> 00:08:16,695
Look at Mr. Excitement.
176
00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:19,998
Forget it, ALF.
It's not working!
177
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,701
Okay, I'll try something else.
178
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:25,470
Willie, please take me
to see the trains.
179
00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:28,173
I haven't had an adventure
in a long time.
180
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:32,811
Alright, maybe this will work.
181
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:34,379
Willie, I'm dying.
182
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:35,914
[coughs]
183
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:40,852
I've only got 24 hours to live,
25, tops.
184
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,387
Okay, come on.
185
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,389
You bought that?
186
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,491
I bought
the second thing you said.
187
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,026
Oh! Well, what was it?
188
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,728
I might wanna
use it again some time.
189
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:50,962
Come on.
190
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,031
- Bring a sweater.
- Okay.
191
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,268
[instrumental music]
192
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:02,941
[sighs]
Boy, there's nothing
like a train yard at night!
193
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:06,878
Yeah. It is peaceful.
194
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,046
[train honking]
195
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,315
Whoa! What's that thing?
196
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:13,218
[chuckles]
That's the train!
197
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,321
It makes the one you have
look like a toy!
198
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,557
That's really something,
isn't it?
199
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:22,360
You know that engine alone
weighs about 75 tons?
200
00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:26,364
You know what would happen
if I put a penny on that track?
201
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:31,770
The train'd derail and all the
bums would spill their beans.
202
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:34,739
That penny would be flat.
203
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:38,743
Wille, pennies are already flat.
204
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,512
(male
'Hey, who's out there?'
205
00:09:40,514 --> 00:09:42,747
Uh-oh, that's the guard.
206
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,250
You mean, that guy
with the Seeing Eye dog?
207
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,552
Duh! Big deal!
208
00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:48,954
No. That's no Seeing Eye dog.
209
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,789
That's a Doberman pinscher.
210
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,891
Yikes! Don't let him pinch me!
211
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,259
[dog barking]
212
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,827
ALF!
213
00:09:57,264 --> 00:10:00,198
(male
'Hey, get away from that train!'
214
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,601
ALF, jump!
215
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,369
Run, Boxcar, run!
216
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:08,974
All aboard!
217
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,909
Hey, I always
wanted to say that.
218
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,777
Well, you got your wish!
219
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,813
And you got yours, too!
220
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,948
We're riding the rails, Willie.
221
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,284
- Ain't it grand?
- No, it ain't.
222
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:22,220
Now the train's going too fast,
we can't get off!
223
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:23,622
[panting]
224
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:26,257
You're acting like
this is all my fault.
225
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,492
Well, isn't it?
226
00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:29,361
I was hoping we could share.
227
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:38,303
¶ Good morning America
how are ya? ¶
228
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,738
¶ Don't you know me ¶
229
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,073
¶ I'm your native son ¶¶
230
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,810
What's the next line?
231
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,446
Just be quiet.
232
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:52,217
Really? I'm surprised
that song was such a big hit.
233
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,954
¶ Just be quiet
just be quiet ¶
234
00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:58,089
¶ Just be quiet ¶
235
00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,891
¶ La la la la la la la ¶¶
236
00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:02,360
[instrumental music]
237
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,400
Who do you think
is on "Letterman" tonight?
238
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,271
Probably Teri Garr.
239
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:19,511
Maybe hopping the train
was a bad idea.
240
00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:22,714
Maybe? Maybe..
241
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,983
Whatever possessed you
242
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:27,552
to do such a thing?
243
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,521
I am not sure.
244
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,523
Isn't impetuosity a word?
245
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:32,957
Yes, it is.
246
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:36,828
Then I did it
because I'm impetuosity.
247
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,630
I couldn't help myself.
248
00:11:38,632 --> 00:11:43,201
You made riding the rails
sound so exciting!
249
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,669
Well..
250
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:45,737
[chuckles]
251
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,072
As long as we're here
252
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:49,040
we might as well
enjoy ourselves, eh?
253
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:51,142
Yeah, that's the spirit.
254
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:54,546
Come on. Let's crack open
a can of beans.
255
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,881
What beans?
We've got no beans.
256
00:11:56,883 --> 00:12:00,151
This trip
was totally misrepresented.
257
00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:03,088
Look, let's just
look out the door
258
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:06,091
and-and-and
watch the world go by.
259
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:10,028
It's dark out.
260
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:14,099
Let's just stare
at the darkness.
261
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:17,068
Stare at the darkness?
262
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,304
What are you? A beatnik?
263
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:23,108
Listen, this was your idea
to ride the rails.
264
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,409
Don't you think
the least you could do
265
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,745
is to try to make
the most of it?
266
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:30,014
Alright! Alright! I'll stare.
267
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:33,318
[train chugging]
268
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,855
(male
'Litchfield? Flatcar?'
269
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,089
'Is that you?'
270
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,924
Willie! Willie, it's a hobo.
271
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,359
Hide me.
272
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:52,904
Uh, no, I'm sorry. We're not
Litchfield and Flatcar.
273
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:56,007
Don't be sorry.
They got no teeth.
274
00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,944
- Where's your buddy?
- Well, he's there.
275
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,479
Just-just there
behind the crates.
276
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:02,947
He's...he's shy.
277
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,616
He's terribly shy
around strangers.
278
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:08,286
Strangers? Hey, I'm no stranger.
You are the stranger!
279
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:11,122
I know everybody
who rides the Rock Island line.
280
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,457
Mighty good line.
281
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,893
What?
282
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:17,595
Never mind.
Nothing, I-I, noth..
283
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,998
- You're a funny guy.
- Oh.
284
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,633
- Gravel Gus.
- Willie Tanner.
285
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:22,801
H-how do you do?
286
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,669
Uh, say, Gravel Gus
287
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:27,172
I guess you got your name
because of your voice there.
288
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:28,840
- Right?
- No.
289
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:31,643
It's because the first six times
I tried to hop a freight
290
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:34,679
I landed facedown
in the gravel.
291
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:36,648
Oh-oo-oo.
292
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:39,551
It could be worse.
Ask Cesspool Steve.
293
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,388
Oh, double ooh.
294
00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:52,263
- How long you been riding?
- Uh, since I was about 17.
295
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,766
Of course, I took
a break there for 30 years.
296
00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:59,070
30 years. That's how long
I've been riding.
297
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,174
I used to work
on Madison Avenue.
298
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:07,612
And one day I decided to chuck
the A game.
299
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,714
Here I am.
300
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:12,283
That's a fascinating story.
301
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:15,520
Yeah. Too bad it's not true.
302
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:19,224
Hm. Actually I've always been
a bum.
303
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,192
Well, there's dignity in that.
304
00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:23,094
Not the way I done it.
305
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,865
Hey, you guys want some beans?
306
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:28,867
I do! I do!
307
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,735
Ahh! A loose kangaroo!
308
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:33,271
[screaming]
309
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,675
Hey! Is he alright?
310
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:41,279
Well, he fell facedown
in a pile of gravel.
311
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,549
Well, this is a fine
how-do-you-do.
312
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:48,186
No matter what happens,
I get no beans.
313
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:50,822
You know, I'm really getting
tired of you whining.
314
00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:54,225
I'm getting tired of whining.
So there!
315
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,594
I guess I won't mention
how cold it is.
316
00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,129
Thank you.
317
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,567
Is it okay if I put my foot
under your armpit?
318
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,601
No, it's not!
319
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,137
- Aren't you cold?
- Yes, I am.
320
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:12,644
Wouldn't you like to wrap your
armpit around my nice warm foot?
321
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:18,349
Look, ALF,
if we don't think about the cold
322
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:21,052
it's not going to be so bad.
323
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:24,389
Fine. Live in a fantasy world.
324
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:27,258
- Whoa!
- Ow, ooh, Willie.
325
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,727
- I bumped my head.
- Oh, here, let me see.
326
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,362
Ow, you're hurting me.
327
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,565
Do you know, for someone
who's traveled all the way
328
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:37,268
across this universe
and had all kinds of adventures
329
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,037
climbed a flat mountain?
330
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:42,674
You are an incredible baby.
331
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,278
I never climbed Mount Floppy.
332
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,882
What are you talkin' about?
I saw you in the picture.
333
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,452
It was taken at a carnival.
334
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:57,755
I stuck my head
through a cardboard cutout.
335
00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:00,091
It cost me a wernick.
336
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:01,626
- A wernick?
- Yeah.
337
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,595
That's ten dollars on Melmac.
338
00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:06,264
Well, what about, what about
339
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,266
that picture of you
in that barrel?
340
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:11,502
- I paid a matter for it.
- What's a matter?
341
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:14,138
Well, for one thing,
I've got this bump on my head.
342
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,307
Ha ha ha!
343
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,909
Good one, huh?
344
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,513
This was back when
you were dating Rhonda?
345
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:26,451
Yeah, but there was no such
thing as dating on Melmac.
346
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:29,253
If you liked a girl,
you took her to dinner
347
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:30,521
and a movie.
348
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,826
Just sounds
remarkably like dating.
349
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:38,830
We called it taking a girl
to dinner and a movie.
350
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:41,132
Uh, just like
there were no telephones.
351
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:45,336
They were called those plastic
things on the counter that ring.
352
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,539
Of course. Of course.
353
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:51,376
It's just as plain as this
breathing apparatus on my face.
354
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,545
That's your nose, Willie.
355
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:59,183
Why must you needlessly
complicate everything?
356
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,284
Please continue.
357
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:01,652
[clears throat]
358
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,856
Well, I just started
going out with Rhonda
359
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:06,524
when my planet blew up.
360
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,194
Unlucky in love.
361
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,663
Unlucky in Armageddon.
362
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,198
I'm sorry, ALF.
363
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,968
Hey, at least
I don't worry anymore.
364
00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:21,039
When my planet blew up,
I realized one thing.
365
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,941
You have to live every moment
to the fullest.
366
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,478
Oh, look, Willie
367
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,881
that's where Melmac used to be.
368
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,382
Where?
369
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,051
That spot up there
where it looks like
370
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,552
there should be a planet.
371
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,590
Oh, look, ALF,
it's a shooting star.
372
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:41,726
Make a wish.
373
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,294
Okay.
374
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,632
Well, what did you wish?
375
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,935
I wished I had my planet back.
376
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,570
Oh.
377
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,938
ALF.
378
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:56,974
[harmonica music]
379
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:03,114
Well, cheer up, ALF,
because at least you know
380
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:04,682
your friends
are still out there.
381
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,584
Maybe-maybe
you'll meet up someday.
382
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,586
May-maybe you and Rhonda
will get together.
383
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,588
Maybe you'll get married.
384
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:14,092
Yeah. Hey, I'm still young.
385
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:18,896
If I'm not married by the time
I hit the big four-O-O
386
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:20,498
then I'll panic.
387
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,634
Maybe I'll marry Lynn.
388
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,938
- What?
- I'm kidding. Cool down.
389
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:30,308
Okay, I'm cool, I'm cool.
390
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:31,476
Uh, you are kidding about that?
391
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,678
- Yes!
- Okay, I'm cool.
392
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:37,281
I guess you always knew
you were gonna get married
393
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,816
and settle down, huh?
394
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,284
Well, actually, uh..
395
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:43,254
...I didn't really
ever think I really would.
396
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:44,455
No luck with the babes?
397
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,425
No, I had babes.
I mean, I had girlfriends.
398
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:50,761
I just, uh, I didn't think I..
399
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:53,097
I wanted to do the things
my father did.
400
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:54,432
[train horn blowing]
401
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:55,766
What was he like?
402
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,802
Well.
403
00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:01,606
You know, he was married,
two kids, lived in the suburbs.
404
00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:04,709
Wow. And you're his son.
405
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:08,913
I'm sorry, Willie, go on.
406
00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:12,350
I just, I wanted my life to be
more exciting than his was.
407
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,986
That's all.
That's why I started..
408
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:17,922
That's why I started
riding the rails.
409
00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:19,490
So what happened?
410
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,693
Well, I met a girl in Colorado.
411
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,529
We were working
in this restaurant.
412
00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,497
She-she was saving her money
to go to California.
413
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:29,000
She wanted to be an actress.
414
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,502
And I don't know,
we started going out together
415
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,304
and before I knew it, I..
416
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:36,440
...I-I fell in love.
417
00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:38,342
Why, I never knew Kate
wanted to be an actress.
418
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,677
No. It wasn't Kate.
419
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,512
It was Linda Evans.
420
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,550
That's the truth.
421
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:48,085
Really? You dated her?
422
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:53,191
Well, way to go, Willie.
423
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:55,026
What happened?
424
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,627
Oh, I don't know.
425
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:59,697
She set out to find
the footlights
426
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:04,302
and I set out to find the sky.
427
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:07,205
Boy, you showed her.
428
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,874
Well, it's just as well,
I found the girl of my dreams
429
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:13,377
I found that girl, that one girl
I wanted to spent the whole
430
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,680
rest of my life with.
431
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:19,383
- Joan Collins?
- Kate.
432
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:22,053
- Kate.
- Oh, right. Yeah.
433
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,388
Well, you married
the right girl.
434
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,057
Linda's much too busy.
435
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,193
She'd never be home in time
to tuck me in.
436
00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:31,128
Well, I'm so glad you approve.
437
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:36,067
Kate's made me
a very happy man, you know.
438
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:39,604
Yeah, but you better face it,
Willie.
439
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:43,040
You did follow
in your father's footsteps.
440
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,709
Yeah, but I found out
441
00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:48,379
there's a lot of adventure
out there in the suburbs.
442
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:49,447
There is.
443
00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:50,581
Buying our house
444
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,216
having our first Christmas
445
00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:55,519
seeing Lynne come out
of the delivery room..
446
00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:58,689
...hearing Brian say "Dad,"
you know?
447
00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:01,125
Hey. Hey.
448
00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:05,596
What about that pesky alien
crashing through your roof?
449
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,598
That's certainly
been an adventure.
450
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,934
Yeah, for me too.
451
00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:14,639
Willie..
452
00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:19,176
...do you ever wish I hadn't
crashed through your roof?
453
00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:26,183
Never.
454
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,153
Thanks..
455
00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:31,622
...dad!
456
00:21:32,925 --> 00:21:34,859
[laughs]
457
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:38,229
Yeah.
458
00:21:38,231 --> 00:21:39,797
[laughing]
459
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,999
[instrumental music]
460
00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:49,307
[instrumental music]
461
00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:52,310
[phone ringing]
462
00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:55,313
Hello? Willie!
463
00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:57,014
Willie, where are you?
464
00:22:00,353 --> 00:22:02,953
You're kidding.
465
00:22:02,955 --> 00:22:07,325
well, honey, I'll be there
as soon as I can.
466
00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,694
I'm glad I married you too.
467
00:22:11,097 --> 00:22:12,697
Are dad and ALF alright?
468
00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:17,168
They are Barstow.
They've been riding the rails.
469
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:18,936
That's fantastic.
470
00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:23,674
I mean that's terrible. Bad dad.
471
00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:26,177
- Bad ALF.
- I'll pick them up.
472
00:22:28,715 --> 00:22:31,382
What's riding in the rails?
473
00:22:31,384 --> 00:22:35,286
Uh, something that your father
did a long time ago
474
00:22:35,288 --> 00:22:37,855
and that you will never do.
475
00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:41,125
Oh, you mean like dating
Linda Evans?
476
00:22:41,127 --> 00:22:42,927
That's right.
477
00:22:44,230 --> 00:22:46,230
[instrumental music]
478
00:22:52,205 --> 00:22:56,073
Well, I found a mini-mart
down the road. I called Kate.
479
00:22:56,075 --> 00:22:59,643
She said.. She says she'll be
here in a couple of hours.
480
00:22:59,645 --> 00:23:01,645
A couple of hours?
481
00:23:01,647 --> 00:23:03,681
What are we gonna do till then?
482
00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:05,750
[crickets chirping]
483
00:23:05,752 --> 00:23:09,120
Beans!
Hey, way to go, Boxcar.
484
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,122
To Gus.
485
00:23:12,992 --> 00:23:14,825
You know..
486
00:23:14,827 --> 00:23:17,428
...I had a lot
of fun today, ALF.
487
00:23:17,430 --> 00:23:20,498
- Thanks.
- My pleasure.
488
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,366
We'll do this again sometime.
489
00:23:22,368 --> 00:23:24,335
That's what you think.
490
00:23:27,206 --> 00:23:28,873
[humming]
491
00:23:28,875 --> 00:23:31,709
¶ Good morning America ¶
492
00:23:31,711 --> 00:23:33,911
¶ How are ya? ¶
493
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:35,513
¶ Don't you know me? ¶
494
00:23:35,515 --> 00:23:37,848
¶ I'm your native son ¶
495
00:23:39,585 --> 00:23:41,619
¶ I'm the train they call ¶
496
00:23:41,621 --> 00:23:45,856
¶ The city of New Orleans ¶
497
00:23:45,858 --> 00:23:49,126
¶ And I'll be gone 500 miles ¶
¶ And I'll be gone 500 miles ¶
498
00:23:49,128 --> 00:23:51,295
¶ When the day is done ¶
¶ When the day is done ¶
499
00:23:52,732 --> 00:23:54,765
[both humming]
500
00:23:57,703 --> 00:23:59,870
¶ Just be quiet
just be quiet ¶
501
00:23:59,872 --> 00:24:01,939
¶ Just be quiet ¶¶
502
00:24:03,409 --> 00:24:06,143
[theme music]
503
00:24:30,403 --> 00:24:32,036
[ALF laughing]